 Local Fitness Instructor *Shania Lafayette is pleasantly surprised by the amount of new clients she has signed up this spring.
Lafayette reports that in the past years her classes have been occupied by 100% female clientele. However, this spring she has had an influx of local middle aged husbands and fathers requesting to reserve spots in her highly sought-after fitness classes. She says, "You can tell that our society is finally evolving when men are willing to try out new things that have been traditionally female-dominated. My Zumba class is completely booked, and over 80% of my clients are men! It's great to see these guys taking care of themselves finally." When asked about the sudden desire to participate in group fitness, local man *Dale McSimmons said that he heard Lafayette's husband was planning on being out of town on an extended hunting trip for the better part of the year and he, "...figured it would be a good idea to help Shania out by assisting in her fitness classes whenever she needs it." *Mike Dole, a new class participant stated, "She really could use someone to watch her form closely. She can't see herself from behind, so I make damn sure to pay close attention for her. I don't want to see the poor girl throw out her back or strain a joint." Lafayette states, "These guys are so nice and helpful. They always pitch in to help me get my quads stretched out, or meticulously wipe the dust off of my clothes." When Lafayette's husband was contacted for a comment on his friendly male community members, he stated, "I will definitely be back sooner than they think." -JD  Environment Canada is issuing a warning to Saskatchewan residents to monitor the weight of traffic atop it’s frozen lakes in the coming months.
The ice on most Saskatchewan lakes is usually thick enough to support vehicles and fishing equipment at this time of year, but due to incidents of excessively heavier than normal traffic, extreme caution should be used. This past Saturday a number of deep cracks in ice surfaces were reported by Conservation Officers in the Rural Municipality of Big River No. 555. “This is not a climate change issue,” says an Environment Canada area representative. “This is an isolated incident involving patrons that have far-exceeded the recommended weight limit.” Locals are being warned to exercise extreme caution, and report any violations to their Environment Canada Area Representatives. -JD  New studies find that the leading major cause of self-induced ejaculation amongst male Saskatchewan farmers between the ages of 18-47 can be blamed on Auto-Steer.
Automated Steering Systems automatically steer a tractor on line with maximum precision—freeing up the driver's hands so he can focus on the job ahead of him. Numerous reports from the spouses of local male farmers state that their bedroom life has taken a downturn after their machinery was upgraded with Auto-Steer Systems. *Shelley Brooks of Plenty, Sk says, “He just doesn’t really seem interested in me at the end of the day anymore. I blame Auto-Steer.” *Dale Climengals of Ruthilda, Sk says that Auto-Steer has enhanced his farming experience so much that he now prefers to spend time with the automated system instead of his fiancé. He states that, “Auto-Steer doesn’t judge me, tell me to hurry up, or make me look it in the eye.” He unnecessarily adds that his preferred receptacle is an empty Panago box or A&W bag. -JD |
