Feb. 18, 2016: On Sunday evening, a friendly neighbourhood BBQ was completely destroyed by *Blake Buckingham's minor injury.
Buckingham, 40 was cordially invited to his neighbour’s shop for a few beers and some good eats, along with other locals. Things were going fine, until Buckingham bit into his freshly grilled hot dog and burned ‘the living sh*t’ out of his tongue.
“The guy just freaked!” reported the neighbourhood Host of the get-together. “I grabbed one of his beers and gave it to him to cool off his tongue, but it didn’t help.” (Sources say that Buckingham always insists on keeping his Pilsners warm, because they go down faster that way.)
“I did everything I could, but a hot Pilsner wasn’t going to take care of his problem. He needed something else.”
At that point, the thoughtful Host grabbed Buckingham by the back of the head and thrust his face into a snowbank, shouting “Keep your mouth open!”.
One partygoer described the scene as “…really intense, everyone was laughing their asses off. I mean, to see this guy screaming with his face shoved in a snowbank…it was incredible. He managed to hang onto his beer the entire time!”.
The laughter stopped however, once Buckingham managed to extract his tongue from the ice-cold relief.
One witness stated that Buckingham “…just went nuts. He grabbed everyone’s quad keys and threw them as hard as he could in every direction while calling us all "...*expletive deleted*-pieces-of-*expletive deleted*-*expletive deleted*-sucking-sorry-*expletive deleted*-excuses-for-human-beings". Then he jumped on his own quad to go home, but it wouldn’t start! Thank god *Shawn was there to boost it for him. We may not be alive right now if it wasn’t for him.”
After hollering at the crowd that none of them were ever allowed on his property, Buckingham told the Host’s dog to “go f**k himself”, and rode off into the night.
Buckingham was last reported seen only through the cracks of a venetian blind.
*Names have been changed to protect identities