Local man *Jerry Andrews has been given the prestigious "Neighbour of the Year" award by Town Council.
Andrews, 34 is well known on his neighbourhood block in Kindersley. Residents say you can always count on a friendly wave when you see him on his driveway working on his Harley, in his extremely loose sweatpants.
"Seriously, Asscrack Jerry is getting Neighbour of the Year?" says *Regan Mewls, who lives beside the award winner. Mewls warmly describes his neighbour as someone you can always count on to drink your Bud Light and eyeball your wife. He goes on to say, "that asshole lets his dogs out the front door everyday to come sh*t on my lawn. I've filed complaints with the Town, but nothing ever gets done about him."
*Glenda Dearborn who lives across the street from Andrews expressed some surprise at the news. "Wait, there must be some huge mistake... Jerry? We've actually filed numerous complaints about him with the Town. Maybe his name got put into the wrong file?" When pressed for details, Glenda reported that, "...three weeks ago I saw him dumping his empty beer cans into my recycling bin. I asked him to please stop doing that since it wasn't the first time I've caught him. He told me to 'shut my c*ckholder', took my newspaper and went back to his house."
When asked about his feelings on being the recipient of the prestigious award, Andrews performed a celebratory shotgun of his beer and commented, "F**kin eh!!! About time someone recognized this gem!". He then excused himself to go empty his bladder onto the flowerbed underneath his neighbour's bedroom window.
*Names have been changed to protect identities